When I Find Him

bench-1052066When I find him, he will be a gentleman. He will, at first, take me out on actual dates and pay, where we get dressed up and feel like we’ve gone back in time (then, at some point, I’ll offer to go dutch and he won’t fight, because he’ll know that I, too, work my ass off for the money I earn and don’t like feeling like a kept woman).┬áHe will hold doors, and offer me his jacket when I am inevitably freezing, and help me up from chairs and car seats because he understands that clumsiness is my thing. He will know that I’m not the “Netflix and Chill” kind of girl – sure, I love Netflix, and I love sharing a relaxing weekend evening with people I care about. But he will know I’m a firm believer that chivalry is not dead.

When I find him, he will keep me engaged. Off the bat I will find him humorous and amusing and he will find ways to keep a smile on my face. And he will be able to keep a conversation because there is not only a mutual attraction, but a mutual intellectual connection as well.

When I find him, he will take an interest in my career; both the one I have now and the one I intend to have in the future – and I, his. He will ask me how I plan on achieving my goals, and then push me to pursue them. He will understand the field that I’m in, and when he doesn’t, he’ll ask questions.

When I find him, he will listen. He will listen to me rant about bad days at work, about good things going on with my friends and family, about what dresses make me feel fat and what shows I like and don’t – and he will actually remember, for the most part, what I’ve said. He will listen, and take note, and surprise me by remembering the little things that make me smile when I’m at my lowest.

When I find him, he will make me feel loved. He will be head over heels for me, and there will be no question about that. Even early on, when that four letter word is far from anyone’s mind. He won’t play these half-ass mind games of “I’m not sure what I want,” and will be up front about wanting a relationship, not this something in-between people our age are so accustomed to. There will be flowers and notes and maybe, just maybe, he’ll pay enough attention to learn what my Claddagh ring is all about.

When I find him, he will be proud to call me his. He will find my quirks endearing, not embarrassing, and may even share one or two (or lots). He will be excited to have a significant other who is accomplished, driven and bright, and whose goal is to be successful, not earn her Mrs. degree.

Until I find him, I will work on being myself, without an “and” attached. I will learn how to be a great me, by myself, so when I do find him, we’re awesome separately, but amazing together. I will bide my time, not waiting around for the perfect man or praying to God to send him to me, but getting to know the people around me. Sure, there will be a few wrong tries here and there. I will get my heart broken, I will cry more tears than I’m sure I ever planned on.

But when I find him, it will all be worth it.

And sometimes, when I need encouragement, I’ll pop on tunes from my girl Ingrid…

Leave a Reply